There was a point in my life when I looked at everything I had and started comparing it to everything others had. One of my brothers was a buyer for a major corporation and at the time was already contemplating retirement despite only being in his late 30's. In addition he drove a fancy car and owned his own home. My other brother owned a farm, had a successful marriage, and had several vehicles. My older sister was at the absolute pinnacle of her profession, owned her own business studio, 2 vehicles and a beautiful acreage that was fully paid for. It seemed that everyone I knew or respected had all the things that I thought I wanted. I didn't have all the things they did, so I must not be as good or deserving as them.
I had a $40,000 debt, 2 failed marriages, 1 unhealthy relationship and everything I owned could be thrown in the back of the beat-up old Dodge Colt that I owned.
I slipped into such an extreme case of the 'poor me's' that I walked out of my girlfriend's (the unhealthy relationship) house, fully intending to complete one final act. My plan was to drive out to a stretch of highway where Semi-Trailer Trucks frequented and just as one was going by, jerk the wheel over, letting the semi take care of snuffing out my wretched life.
The funny thing was, despite the fact that I wasn't drinking or on drugs, I don't remember anything after crawling in behind the wheel of my car. I was in a total black-out until I became lucid again talking to a Doctor at the local hospital. I had evidently driven from home directly to the hospital in the complete opposite direction of the stretch of highway I had been aiming for. Amazing right? Personally, no one can convince me that Jesus didn't send the Holy Spirit to intervene in my suicide and take the wheel to drive me to the hospital.
With some psychiatric help, I realized that my life wasn't totally bad. My car, while a bit of a beater, was paid for. I was in debt, but not in jail. I was not a Paramedic, but I was an EMT and that was all I wanted to achieve. I didn't want to become a Medic because that would have meant moving to a big city. I also had some time for reflection and realized that a few years before this, I had been making great money that I was also spending most of trying to fill a void that never seemed to get filled. When I had compared myself to the others, it really wasn't because I wanted what the material things they had, it was because I still had a void that was in need of filling. All it showed me was how bid the void was that needed filing.
So what IS important to you? Having a large house with 2 vehicles in the driveway? A yearly membership in the prestigious local country club and a timeshare in Maui? Or maybe a 40 ft. motorhome that you use to drive to the mountains once a year to unwind from the stressful job you work at? Perhaps you place importance on a more personal level such as working 80 hours a week so that you can call yourself a 'successful' Doctor, or maybe Lawyer? These things may impress a lot of people in the world, and might even make your next door neighbor envious, but how important are they really? Do they fill that empty space in you ?
In the years since I have learned that worldly things are nice to have, but worldly things are only good for the world. For me these things never filled the emptiness and it wasn't until I committed myself to Jesus that I found out exactly what was missing inside of me. To put it simply, He was.
Big houses, yachts, personal titles, and fancy cars may be nice to have, but not one of them will feed you with His righteousness, His peace, and His joy. Neither will throwing money at a charity to get around the tax man. Only when you invite Jesus into your life, asking Him to forgive your sins and to become your Salvation will you begin to fill the void. Only when you are filled with the Holy Ghost will that emptiness begin to be filled whether you recognize it or not.
I'd like to close this with the prayer that Paul said in Ephesians 3:14-21
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.